The Wrong Earth
by RocketDwarf
Summary: Off the BIfrost and into another dimension. Thor and Loki find themselves in the DWMA, confused and de-aged, they have to make their way through a new world and possibly back to the old one. A collaboration with PhontofDeath. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

**This is our first collaboration, and we're having fun with it so far. We hope that you think the idea of Thor and Loki together in the world of Soul Eater is as interesting as we do! Enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Soul Eater or Thor. We do this for fun.**

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SMASH! Cracks were beginning to form, spreading along the shifting hues of the Bifrost.

"What are you doing?"

SMASH! Multicolored shards of rainbow tumbled into the empty space below the bridge.

"If you destroy the bridge, you'll never see her again."

SMASH! More cracks, and the energy of the Bifrost began to leak into the air.

SMASH! He had to do something, _anything_, to stop Thor. His idiotic brother was going to single-handedly shater both of their ambitions in one swing of that _blasted_ hammer of his.

"I'm sorry Jane..." Fighting against the pain in his chest, loki lept up to stop the damn oaf.

SMASH!

BOOM!

Suddenly, Loki's vision was obscured with a bright light, and the ground gave way under his feet. Or rather, his feet left the ground behind as he and his idiotic excuse for a brother were catapulted into the asgardian sky.

_FALLING FALLING FALLING!_

Loki felt his downward momentum suddenly halted, and he looked up in surprise to see one of Thor's clumsy hands holding on tightly to the end of his scepter.

"HOLD ON, BROTHER!" Thor shouted, his hand firmly clamped down on the edge the bridge.

Loki ignored him, instead casting his gaze down towards the abyss. There, in the distance! A dimensional portal. He reached out his sixth sense, trying to discern it's nature. It didn't feel dangerous, at least not any more than Earth was. It was an escape, and it would have to be enough

"You can't save us both, Thor!" Loki shouted up, the beginnings of a plan forming in his mind, "The bridge is unstable, it'll break."

"I will not let you fall, brother," Thor replied stalwartly.

_Damn his hero complex_

"Then I will have to do it for you, farewe-"

CRACK!

"What was that?" Loki asked, a note of panic seeping into his voice.

CRACK!

_please no._

CRACK!

_NONONONONONONO!_

The small piece of bridge that was holding up the two brothers' frames finally gave way, and gravity quickly took hold of them. Loki tried frantically to get away from Thor, but the massive man had wrapped him in a tight choke-hold.

"Don't worry, brother, I'll keep you safe!"

"I DON'T NEED SAVING, YOU GIGANTIC MORON!"

"YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER, BROTHER!"

"YOU _NEVER_ GIVE ME A CHOICE! IT'S ALWAYS LOKI, LET'S GO OUTSIDE! LOKI, LETS HAVE A SWORDFIGHT! LOKI, LETS GO SLAY A DRAGON! YOU NEVER TAKE MY OPINION INTO ACCOUNT!"

"NOT TRUE! REMEMBER THE TIME WHEN I DEFIED FATHER? I FOLLOWED YOUR ADVICE THEN! YOU KNOW WHAT FATHER DOES WHEN WE DISOBEY HIM! HE BANISHED ME TO EARTH! THAT WAS HOW THIS WHOLE MESS STARTED!"

"I TOLD YOU _NOT_ TO GO! YOU IGNORE-"

He was cut off when a huge chunk of gold metal collided with the Thor's back, launching them both towards the portal that Loki had noticed earlier.

"This day just keeps getting better," Loki commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

VOOMP.

Suddenly they were inside the portal and the opening was closed behind them.

_Well, that could have gone better..._

Then Loki's consciousness slipped away from him.

* * *

"BROTHER!"

_UUNNNGH..._

"I BESEECH THEE"

"URgg..." Loki moaned, forcing his eyes open and then immediately closing them again when he was met with blinding light.

"IT IS ME, BROTHER!"

"why don't you let him sleep a little bit longer, not everyone is as resilient as you are." Another voice, female and much softer on Loki's ears.

"Yes, please do..." Loki agreed tiredly.

_Let me rest a little bit longer..._ Loki thought, beginning to drift off. Suddenly, Loki remembered the events that had lead to his current situation. He was immediately upright and scrambling out of the thin, white sheets that covered him, only to be forced down again by a surprisingly strong hand on his chest.

"Don't strain yourself, please." The woman attached to the hand on his chest said. He looked up to see strikingly dangerous, slit-like eyes framed by dirty blond hair. As soon as his own eyes focused more clearly, the slits rounded to kind, round pupils. Loki blinked.

_That was... interesting._

"There, that's better." The Woman said with a serene smile.

"Where am I?" Loki asked.

"So impatient," the woman chided. "You are in the DWMA."

"The what?"

"The Death Weapon Meister Academy."

"...That still doesn't answer my question." Loki said flatly. He wasn't in the mood for games. (and no, the irony of this was not lost on him.)

"Surely you must heard of it."

"Oh brother, it's amazing!" Thor piped up enthusiastically, "they teach HEROS here!"

Loki turned to his brother, about to say something cutting, only to be struck silent by a sight he had not seen for centuries.

Teenage Thor.

The sight immediately brought back a whole _host_ of bad memories, none of which he really wanted to relive.

"WHAGH!?" Accompanied by a quick leap away from Thor seemed to him to be the most natural reaction at the time. Of course, there was a wall behind him.

Thunk!

"Ow..."

"What did I just say about straining yourself?" The woman asked, helping Thor pick his brother up by the arms. Loki was tossed roughly back into his bed by Thor. Loki's brain was beginning to overheat.

Where was he?

Who is this woman?

Why is Thor a TEENAGER?

Loki took a deep breath.

"Alright... let's try this again. First, where am I?"

"The Death Weapon Meister Academy."

"...Fine, we'll come back to that later. Second, who are you?"

"I am Dr. Medusa, the school nurse."

"It's good to meet you, Doctor. Now, thirdly, WHY IS THOR AN ADOLESCENT?"

Medusa shrunk back, slightly.

"He isn't normally like this?"

"N-... actually, never mind." Loki cut himself off when he realized how strange what he was about to say was.

"...You should get some rest now," said Medusa, "everything will be clearer after a good night's rest."

"**DR. MEDUSA, PLEASE REPORT TO THE ACADEMY ENTRANCE IMMEDIATELY TO ADDRESS A HEAVILY WOUNDED STUDENT.**"

"OH!" Medusa cried, "that's me!" She hurried out of the room, only pausing to add one more thing. "Please don't touch anything while I'm gone, ok?" The door gently closed behind her, leaving both brothers somewhat at a loss for words.

"..."

"..."

"SO!"

"...So..."

"Let me tell you all about this wondrous new place, brother!"

* * *

The headache that Loki had been hoping would subside only intensified as his brother spoke. He decided to say something, if only to have a moment without Thor's chatter.

"So, let me get this straight. We are in a school, principled by Death himself, that trains young people to fight by using other young people as weapons. Which the school then sends to kill monsters for them. AND YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT?"

"It's nostalgic, isn't it? Just like us!" Thor replied happily.

"...We're gods... it's different." Loki said exasperatedly.

"Nonsense! Brother!" Said Thor, slapping Loki in the back. Hard.

"OW!"

"You should see yourself, brother!" Thor said, ignoring Loki's pain, "you look five hundred years younger!"

"...What?" Loki frantically looked around the room for a mirror.

_There! on the door!_ He threw the sheets, which he had been re-wrapped in a couple minutes before, and rushed before the mirror.

"You're young again!" Thor said jovially.

"I'm short again!" Loki moaned in horror.

"Always a pessimist!"

"I'm a realist, there's a difference!" Thor opened his mouth, to no-doubt blurt out another infuriatingly optimistic remark, when the door flew open. Medusa and by a man Loki didn't recognize rushed in with a stretcher.

"Out of the way!" The man shouted, pushing roughly past Thor and setting the stretcher down on the bed that Loki had been using.

"Ow..." said Loki. He had been standing in front of the door when it was forced open, and his nose had not fared well. He was about to say something along the lines of 'watch where you're going', when he caught sight of the boy on the stretcher and the massive diagonal slash on his chest. "Oh...Wow..." Loki was about to close the door politely and quietly, when it was once again thrown open.

"OW!"

"How is he!?" The voice of a young girl shouted worriedly.

"He'll be ok, moving him hasn't done any major harm. Grab me that bottle of alcohol" Medusa replied calmly as she undid his bandages and inspected the wound. "Get me Stein," Medusa said.

"I'm here," a new voice at the door. Loki was glad that he had moved away from the door.

"I need you to help stitching up Soul's wound when I finish sterilizing it "

"On it."

Loki took a moment to observe the newcomer. He was a tall, bespectacled man with silvery grey hair, stitches on his arms and face, and, most noticeably, a huge metal screw stabbed through his head. He didn't seem to mind. As Loki watched, the man reached up and absent-mindedly rotated it, producing a loud and unsettling clicking noise. It was not often that Loki, god of trickery, had been at a loss for words. This was one of those times. The man proceeded to suture the wound, quickly and skillfully closing it with a needle and medical thread. Loki opted to stay out of the way. He would have already been edging towards the door in an attempt to escape, but he had a feeling that the way his luck was going today, he'd just get another face-full of door. He stood quietly to the side. As a whole, the people here hadn't done anything more threatening than throwing the door open and bleeding on their own floor, so one night here couldn't kill him... right?

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**That's the first chapter, everyone!**

**This scene popped into our heads and we wanted to include it but we didn't think it fit the tone of the rest of the scene, so here it is!**

**Medusa: He'll be ok, moving him hasn't done any major harm. Grab me that bottle of alcohol.**

**Thor: ALCOHOL? SPIRITS? WHERE?**

**Spirit: *throws open the door, hitting Loki in the face agian* SPIRIT IS HERE! MY DARLING MAKA! HOW CAN DADDY HELP?**

**Maka: *Maka Chop!* LEAVE!**

**Thor: I still don't see the spirits!**

**Spirit: THE GREAT AND FAMOUS DEATH SCYTHE SPIRIT IS HERE!**

**Maka: *Maka chop x2* BOTH OF YOU OUT! NOW!**

**Spirit+Thor: Yes'm!**

**We hope you liked the story! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reveiw! It makes us happy and motivates us to write more!**


	2. Chapter 2

**RocketDwarf: Hey readers! (I know that there's at least two of you...) Here we are again. Chapter two.**

**To Ecila:** I honestly think that neither Thor or Loki care in the slightest about Soul and Maka's love lives, so it's not going to come into this story. Looking back on the review, I couldn't really tell if you guys were forced away from the computer because the owner was too busy reading the SoMa goodness, or if she was angry at you guys for contaminating her computer with the horrors of SoMa. I kind of want to know though.

**To Guest:** I'm glad you liked it!

**Thanks for the reviews, you two! Keep em' coming!**

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHG!"

"Ugh... please... no more..." Loki moaned. This was the fifth time the prematurely gray little _brat_ had woken up screaming, and in the process woken up Loki as well. The boy would scream, sit bolt-upright in his bed, mumble about 'uncool' things and fall back asleep again. Now, this wouldn't have been so terrible, if Loki wouldn't have also have been sleeping with Thor at his other side. The man snored at double the volume that a giant could, and when he exhaled, it sounded like a tuba. So the night sounded somewhat like this:

"SNNNNNNNORT!"

"BLUUUURT!"

"SNNNNNNNORT!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG!"

"Please… no more..."

Etcetera. Loki buried his head deeper into his pillow.

"SNNNNNNORT!" Said Thor.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Ah, what a rejuvenating rest!" Cried someone who was definitely not Loki. This particular not-loki had long flowing blond hair, shining Asgardian Steel armor, and a huge grin plastered genuinely across his face.  
"SHUT." A moan from a white and green tangle of cloth in the corner, "UP."

"...You seem troubled, brother," said Thor jovially.

"I am not going to dignify that with an answer," the pile responded.

"But didn't you just..."

"No."

"But..."

"NO!"

Thor decided there was more fun to be had elsewhere. He strode to the door, stopping just in time to avoid getting doored in the nose.

"I hate you SO much..." the corner pile said. As he did, a young, dirty blond girl in pigtails stepped in.

"Ah-ha! A local! Where, pray-tell, could I find the king of this realm?"

"Uh..." the girl responded, "...Well, you can find Lord Death in the Death Room."

"Ah! Indeed, one might find the Lord of Death in a room _called_ Death." Thor said knowingly, "Then I am off! On a quest to find the Lord of Death, and thwart his evil dominion over this land!" With these final heroic words, Thor swept out of the room with a great sense of purpose.

"Wait!" the girl called after him, "Lord Death is nice!" But Thor was already long gone. "...Ah, well... I'm sure Lord Death can handle it." She said to herself.

* * *

in his rush to defeat evil and tyranny, Thor forgot to ask for directions. He had taken to opening random doors, dramatic, evil-smiting entrance and all (Just in case).

"HALT, Lord of Death, I am here to stop your evil plans!"

"..."

"..."

"...do you know him?"

"No, you?"

"No."

"..My apologies, common folk of this realm, this appears to be the wrong room. Carry on."

"…..."

Thor moved on. His search took him through an impressive amount of evil castle and several hours worth of time.

"Halt..." Thor said boredly as he opened another room, "Lord of Death, I am here to... never mind." he slumped down against the doorframe. This quest had turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment. There weren't even any monsters to smite. Just row after row of doors that lead to boring, worthless, and most of all EMPTY rooms. Thor, officially God of Thunder, and unofficially God of Heroic Entrances, sighed. He looked around the hallway perhaps for something that would provide some form of entertainment. He found it in the form of a large mirror at the end of the hall.

"Ah! Perhaps I can make sure that I am still as intimidating as I was earlier this morning!" He cried with new vigor. And so, Thor, God of Heroic Entrances, preened.

* * *

The girl was prattling. Quietly. Just quiet enough to be hard to hear, but not quietly enough to be unnoticeable.

"Uuugh..." he moaned quietly.

"WHA!" The girl squeaked, looking around the room. Loki sat up from his corner, eliciting another squeak from the girl. "H-how long have you been here? D-did you hear?" She asked nervously. Loki considered lying, then he realized that he brain was incapable of thinking of something so complicated with so little sleep.

"...All night."

"...Oh..."

"Wait! You were the pile of clothes!" She realized loudly.

"Please don't scream..." Loki said tiredly, "I've had enough of that for tonight. That and snoring... oohh the snoring. Remind me to strangle Thor with a toothpick the next time I see him." Maka couldn't think of anything to say to that. Usually, when someone said things like that, it was when she was already about to kill them and feed them to Soul. She generally didn't have conversations with them.

"Sorry," Loki interrupted her thoughts, "where are my manners? My name is Loki Odinson." He introduced. "Not that _he_ thinks so..." he mumbled as an afterthought.

"Well..." Maka continued to be baffled by Loki, "I'm Maka Albarn...?" It was almost a question.

"Are you or aren't you?" Loki snapped.

"I-I am." Maka replied with more confidence.

"Now then... It is good to meet you, Maka Albarn."

"Me too... I-I mean, it's nice to meet you too, Loki Odenson." Loki nodded. "S-so..." Maka said tentatively, "..if you don't mind me asking, what was that about your father?"

"He adopted me, told me I'd be king, then, at the last minute, he finally _told_ me I was adopted, and that because of that I actually _couldn't_ be king. And _then_, when I got angry, he avoided the whole issue by falling into a coma."

"Dads, right?"

"Dads." loki agreed. If this girl understood _dads_, maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

"What's yours like?" Loki asked out of curiosity.

"A cheating, lecherous, pervert."

"Ah." The two fell into a companionable silence, united by Daddy Issues. And then:

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"SOUL!"

Loki curled up into a ball again, moaning quietly.

* * *

A half-hour of rejuvenating readjusting of hair later, Thor was back on the hunt. This time, he was conserving his energy, waiting until he saw what was inside before beginning his speech. His fruitless search continued for an indeterminate amount of time, before he returned to the mirror (Just in case his hair got mussed). He hummed a jolly tune as he carefully manipulated a wayward hair off of his forehead. He shot a glance of evil-checking behind him on a whim, and when he looked back, he was greeted by the sight of the strangest skull he had ever laid eyes on.

"AH-HA! HALT, Lord of Death, I am here to stop... halt? Perhaps hinder... ANYWAY! Your evil plans!" He finished triumphantly.

"...Yo?" The skull replied.

"...What do you have to say for yourself? Evildoer?"

"...yo!" The skull said for itself.

"Answer me, you foul demon!"

"...Have you considered the possibility that you have me confused with someone else?" The skull asked reasonably.

"NO! You will not confuse me with your poisonous words, demon!"

"REAPER!" The skull said suddenly, as a huge blocky hand came through the mirror above Thor. Thor wasn't afraid. He should've been.

"CHOP!" A splitting pain lit Thor's head on fire, sending him whimpering to the ground.

"I am not a demon! And I will not have a child in my school call me one!" The skull said sternly.

"Not bad," Thor said heroically, "demon."

"REAPER!" This time, Thor felt afraid.

"CHOP!"

* * *

One hour later...

"And you say that this is the most powerful weapon in existence?"

"Yep!" Maka replied flipping through a book. After they had gotten Soul (the prematurely grey child that had joined Thor in keeping Loki awake), settled in and comfortable, they had gone to the library.

"Does it say anything about the location?" Loki asked with interest.

"Yeah… right here," Maka said, pointing. Loki took the book from her hand and exited the library.

* * *

"Why are you here?" Thor asked, as if he had found a particularly nasty piece of garbage and was being forced to pick it up.

"I would ask you the same question." Loki responded with a similar.

"I was told that I could find a weapon here."

"...It's mine!"

"Not if I get to it first!"

Loki and Thor raced up the cliff, in search of world domination and a weapon, respectively.

"It's mine!"

"That's not fair, you're using your size to your advantage!"

"I bet you can't even pull it out!"

"I assure you that I am perfectly capable."

"I can do it better."

"Can not"

"Can too"

"Can not"

"Can too"

"Can not"

"can too"

"Fine, I'll prove it!"

"No you can't! I should get it because I know more about handling weapons.

"I can handle weapons, what do you think my staff is for? Decoration?"

"That wasn't a weapon, it was a twig!"

"If you're so sure that you'll be able to pull the sword out," Loki said, switching tactics, "then why are you so intent of reaching it first?"

"But you're so weak, I fear that you might strain yourself."

"Oh yes..." Loki drawled sarcastically, "you're _such_ a caring brother. You were always dragging me into your latest hair-brained grab for glory." Loki' voice was rising in volume and intensity as they neared the top of the cliff. "I was always the one who had to dig us out of the hole that you dug us into. _While_ you continued to try to dig us deeper! Then you had the _gall_ to stand in front of father and tell him about how every stunning success against all odds was because of your strength and bravery." The two brothers had reached the top of the cliff, and were stopped while Loki vented. "I pulled our asses out of the fire more times you can count. More times than _I_ can count, which is considerably higher than you can count, I might add. And do I _ever_ get even a word of thanks? NO!"

"Are you finished?" Thor asked. At that moment, Loki dearly wanted to be able to say no.

"...Yes." Loki said, his voice hoarse from yelling. They silently walked into the cave, their race forgotten. Ahead, there was a blue faint glow, illuminating the edges of the tunnel.

"Brother... look!" Loki said nothing. The glow got brighter, and the form of a miniature woman with wings rounded a corner.

"Ah! A faery!" Thor called out, "Hello, good folk of this realm! Perhaps you can aid us on our sacred quest."

_Sacred?_ Loki thought, rolling his eyes.

"...Uh..." The 'faery' replied.

"Good!" Thor said with vigor, "where may we find Excalibur, the holy sword? I require it as a trophy to demonstrate my bravery!" Another roll of the eyes from Loki.

"Oh him." The 'faery's' face melted, for lack of a better word, into a grimace filled with a monumental amount of distaste and disgust. "He's that way." Undaunted by the faery's response, Thor marched on in the direction of fame and glory, with Loki trailing behind. It wasn't long before they emerged into a large open space, surrounded by natural pillars and bathed by sunlight from above. In the center was an ornate golden sword, stabbed into the stone.

"I have found it! The mighty Thor completes another quest!" While Thor gave his victory speech, Loki stepped up the shining sword, grabbed, and pulled. With an understated 'shink', the sword slipped out of the ground.

"I pulled it out!" Loki.

"...And it will be sung of for.. WHAT?" Thor turned around, shocked. "No fair!" He said, ripping the sword out of Loki's hands and shoving it into the ground again, "I call a do-over!"

"A do-ov- what? You can't do that! It's mine! I pulled it out already!" Thor made a big show of bracing himself, both hands on the hilt.

"I will force you to recognize me as your true master!"

Shink...

"AH-HA! I have bested the forces of evil once again!" Thor cried. Then the room was filled with light.

"Welcome, young explorers! I am the great and wonderful EXCALIBUR!"

_*sparkle* *sparkle* *sparkle*_

"...What?" Standing in front of the two brothers, leaning pretentiously on a cane, was the strangest creature they had ever laid eyes on.

Behold me and my greatness and glory!"

"Who are you?" Thor asked.

"_What_ are you?" Loki asked.

"FOOL! It is impossible for mere mortals to be unaware of the great Excalibur!"

"Wha..."

"FOOL!"

"Perhaps those in this realm have not yet heard of me," Thor began, "but soon, all those who inhabit this place will know my name. I AM THE MIGHTY THOR, GOD OF THUNDER!"

"FOOL! You cannot be a god, you are only a child!" Thor opened his mouth to reply, but he was silenced by Loki's hand on his mouth. Loki breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing Thor, these two idiots would be shouting back and forth for the rest of the day.

"Where did you put the sword, strange creature?" Loki demanded.

"FOOL! You are speaking to the very weapon!

"You can't be the sword, you're... something el-

**"**FOOL! I did not give you permission to speak!"

"I don't ne-"

"FOOL! I'm thirsty, bring me some tea."

**"**I'm not your-"

"Sit down and let me tell you my tale..."

"What happened to the-"

My legend began in the twelfth century..." A pregnant silence, "Now, if you want to become my wielder, you must follow The One Thousand Rules."

"Ah, a challenge worthy of my skill..." Thor said, now that he was in known territory.

"First, you must attend my five-hour story reading session."

"We don't want to-"

"FOOL!" Excalibur shouted, "Now, join me, my young wielder, in our journey towards fame and glory!" He continued grandly, transforming into the golden sword and rising into the air.

"HEY!" Thor shouted, "What about me?"

"FOOL!" Excalibur shouted, reverting back into the... thing, "How will you, a weapon, wield another weapon?"

"But I'm not a weapon!"

"NOW," Excalibur continued grandly, "Take me, join me, my young wielder, in our journey towards fame and glory!" He returned to his golden form.

"Fame..." Loki said, "Glory!"

Shink.

"Let us go, brother of mine, there in adventure to be found elsewhere." Loki said, walking away.

* * *

**PhontOfDeath: **I think I could have filled 5 chapters full of Excalibur and loki arguing, or even more... But RocketDwarf wouldn't let me, so here's some of it in a smaller dose:

* * *

**Excalibur:** it began in the 12 century back when we didn't have horses. All we had were bears...And cows. Those were dark and happy days, my lass.

**Loki:** that doesn't make any sense! And I'm not a la...

**Excalibur: **Ah yes! Those were good days for flight!

**Loki: **You can't fly...

**Excalibur: **FOOL! Do you want my wisdom, or not? The ancient ways of the doughnut factory are Nobel arts indeed.

**Thor: **Wha...

**Excalibur: **FOOL! Now then, lets take a look at the 1,000 provisions please turn the page to 5907 multiplied by 120

**Thor: **Er...

**Loki: **Just how many pages are there?

**Excalibur: **FOOL! What is all this talk about pages? I asked for Caramelldansen, now hop to it!.

**Loki:** ENOUGH! Stop interrupting me, you insane monstrosity with the attention-span of a gnat! I am Loki Odenson, god of Asgard, mortal! Bow down before me, you petty little insect!

**Excaliber: **...?

**Loki: **Come, Thor. We're leaving now.

**Thor: **But...

**Loki: **No buts! We're done here.

**Excalibur:** I wonder what on earth he was talking about...

* * *

**RocketDwarf: And there you have it… Chapter two. The decent into madness continues.**

**I've said it before and I'll say it again, PLEASE REVIEW. Every review counts, so please add your two cents.**


	3. Chapter 3

Phont: Hello, how are you!

Rocket: Here is a chapter... How long has it been now?

Phont: I... its been... a COW!

Rocket: Wait what?

Phont: I mean a mooth!

Rocket: Um... Oh! A month. Wow. We did not mean for that to happen. Oops?

Phont: Yeah, it's been so long that I forgot what was happening. What was Harry doing last time? Was he fishing?

Rocket: I think he was too busy not existing in the world of Soul Eater to go fishing.

Phont: Oh yeah... SOUL EATER! Wasn't stein killing someone?

Rocket: Never mind. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

"SOOOOUL!" A boy with ridiculously blue hair burst into the infirmary, knocking the door off of its hinges. Loki had jumped under his covers the moment he heard footsteps on the other side of the door, and was out of the way just barely in time to avoid getting doored in the face. He silently congratulated himself on his reflexes. The boy with the blue hair rushed to the boy called Soul, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"SOUL! ARE YOU OK? TALK TO ME!

"Ung..." Soul moaned, shifting in his sleep.

"Maka..." A tone that filled those who knew it with dread.

"LET ME HEAR YOU SAY MY NAME!

"Chop!"

"OW!" The blue-haired-Thor-clone (As Loki had silently dubbed him) fell to the ground, nursing his head. Thor wondered briefly if the girl was in any way related to Lord Death. Maka stepped over the boy and fixed Soul's sheets. In the silence, Soul began to snore.

"Oh... did you get hurt again, Blackstar?" A girl entered, stepping over the fallen door.

_Blackstar?_ Loki mentally snorted, _Is that supposed to be a name?_

"Ugh..." Moaned the unfortunately named child.

"He was going to reopen Souls wounds!" Maka said.

"Sorry about that," the new girl replied before turning to the blue-haired (bluenette?) on the floor. "Blackstar," she said sternly," what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I just wanted to cheer him up! He would have been sad if he didn't get his daily dose of Blackstar!"

"Maka...

"Oh dear."

"Chop!"

"OW!"

"Sorry again..." the girl said.

"You don't have to apologize. Thanks for coming, Tsubaki." Loki was suddenly crushed when something landed on him.

"OW" the weight lifted off of him again. "There's something sharp under there!" Then Loki went flying.

"AHHHHH!" Loki landed head-first near the open door. "WHAT THE HELL!" He shouted angrily as he righted himself. "Watch it!"

"OH YEAH?" The boy yelled, raising a fist, "WELL... WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR SKINNY LITTLE BONES! IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR BEING SO SCRAWNY!"

"MAKA CHOP!"

"OW!"

"OW!"

Both Blackstar and Loki received impacts from Maka's heavy book.

"Why me?"

"Both of you, behave!" Maka demanded.

"...Yes'm..." Both boys replied.

"Ung..." Soul grunted, his snoring stopping.

"Is he..."

"Shhhhhhh!" Both girls hissed. Soul started snoring again. A silence followed, as the girls stared down the boys, daring them to say something.

WHAMP! The other door (there were two) was thrown off it's hinges, landing on top of the first.

BROTHER, I HAVE JUST RECEIVED THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS!"

"shhhhhhhhh"

"Brother, " Thor whispered in what Loki assumed was his lowest volume setting (which was somewhere around 'dull roar' " I have just received the most wonderful news!"

"Not now, thor!" loki hissed.

"but I-" Thor whined back.

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"What happened to my doors?" Dr. medusa cried.

"Shhhhhh!"

"Oh... He's still resting," she said, sounding slightly embarrassed, "I'll come back later."

"thank you" maka whispered, then she motioned for them to follow her out. Thor carfully propped the doors up in their frames as he left, looking sheepish.

"um... thank you?" Said Loki.

"you are welcome, brother." Thor replied in his 'modestly heroic' voice. loki rolled his eyes.

"Now then," Maka said, clapping her hands together. "I haven't properly introduced you four yet." Maka said, "Thor and Loki, this is Blackstar and Tsubaki. Blackstar and Tsubaki, this is Thor and Loki."

"That's right! I'm Blackstar, the man who will surpass God!"

"Uh... you mean gods, right?" Loki said.

"Huh? Who cares! If there are lots, I'll- just beat the crap out of all of them!" Loki wasn't sure what the insane boy would do if he told him that he was a god, but he was sure that it would be violent. Loki wasn't in the mood for violence. But Thor was.

"I'd like to see you try!"

"Hold on,"

_Please no._ Loki thought, desperately elbowing Thor in an attempt to avoid the inevitable

"What's that? You have a god for me to fight?" Blackstar said, shoving a finger into Thor's face.

"Boys..."

"Can you not see?"

Loki intensified his elbowing.

"You have two right here!" Thor said, batting away Loki's elbow and throwing a brotherly arm around his shoulder.

_NONONONONONONONO_

"THAT'S IT! I'm challenging you to a fight!"

"NO!" Loki shouted, "no, we're fine..."

"Come on, I'll take both of you on at once!"

"Maka..." said Maka. Everyone in the room fell silent. "Good, that's better." Maka took a deep breath. "Now, boys, I know that I can't stop you from fighting."

"YES!" Cried Blackstar.

"That's why I'm sending you to find a teacher to supervise the fight."

"Awww.. but I want to fight now!"

"NO! You. Teacher. Outside."

"Yes'm."

A teacher was found and a place set. Apperently, the surgeon that had stitched up the Soul boy was also a teacher. Loki supposed that it made some sort of sense. He was sitting backwards (at least Loki assumed that it was backwards. He really couldn't be sure in this bizarre universe.) on a chair that was mounted on wheels. He still didn't seem to mind that there was a screw stabbed through his head. Damn bizarre universe. Thor also didn't seem to care about the screw. Damn bizarre brother.

"Are you two ready?" The teacher asked, facing Blackstar and Tsubaki. For some reason the one-on-one that Loki had expected and hoped for between Thor and Blackstar had become a two-on-two, with Tsubaki (poor girl) and Loki being dragged in. Blackstar responded with a raucous affirmative, and Tsubaki nodded. Then Tsubaki disappeared in a flash of light.

"Where'd she go?" Was Loki's immediate and natural response. Everyone looked at him like he was an idiot, Thor included. Being looked at like this by Thor was a bit of a slap in the face for obvious reasons. "What?" Another flash of light, and Thor was gone. Loki's arms suddenly felt heavier. He looked down. In his hands was a long-handled, double-sided battle-axe. Loki did what always did when confronted with a weapon. He threw the axe away.

"OW!" The axe said. In Thor's voice. The axe. Said. "What'd you do that for, Brother?"

"What are you- why are you- how are you-" Loki gibbered, "you're an AXE. Why are you an axe?"

Sniggering was beginning to break out among the onlookers.

"...Why not? I think it's cool."

More snigering.

"That's not the- You're an axe!"

Some people were beginning to laugh in earnest.

"You noticed."

Blackstar was on the ground in tears, clutching his sides.

"But- nevermind." Loki gave up, turning to the teacher. "So what am I supposed to do now?" He asked.

"You fight." The teacher said over the laughter. "Pick him up." Loki picked the axe-Thor, he corrected himself- and faced the laughing Blackstar.

_This has got to be the strangest thing I have ever done_, Loki thought. Then he remembered the whole Sleipnir ordeal, and he revised his opinion.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAA" blackstar ran head first towards loki. loki braced himself for impact, awkwardly readying Thor's heavy form.

"HAAAAAAA" blackstar launched one end of the chain-scythe-Tsubaki towards Loki. Loki jumped to the right, narrowly avoiding the blade. Loki thanked god (figuratively of course) for his reflexes.

"HUUUUAAAA" the boy swept his chain-thing wide, and Loki ducked.

"Why won't you use me, brother?" Thor asked, "I'm your weapon!"

"Well it's not my fault you're so hopelessly big. I'm waiting for the right moment!" He was interrupted by another head-on attack. The boy charged forward, his weapon somehow shifted form to a large metal star. Loki used Thor to catapult himself into the air, over the boy. He let Thor plant himself into the ground with a thud as he landed behind Blackstar.

"STOP AVOIDING MY ATTACKS AND FIGHT ME!" Blackstar roared, "OR ARE YOU TOO SCARED TO FIGHT SOMEONE AS BIG AS I AM? COS' I COULD UNDERSTAND IF YOU'RE TOO INTIMIDATED BY MY GOD-LIKE STRENGTH!" He taunted, "PRETTY PATHETIC GOD IF YOU ASK ME! THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD BET A GUY LIKE ME! I COULD SNAP YOU IN HALF IF I WANTED TO!"

"ENOUGH!" loki shouted over Blackstar's rant, hefting Thor over his shoulder and immediatly lamenting the bruise that would form where the axe rested later.

" OH WHAT YOU ARE YOU SCARED, LITTLE GOD BOY? WELL TO BAD, I'M GOING TO MMMPH!" Blackstar was cut off when Loki hit him in the face with the flat of Thor's blade, knocking him a few inches into the air before falling flat on his back.

" BLACK STAR" Tsubaki quickly shifted back to her human form. Human being a relative term, Loki noted to himself.

She rushed over to Blackstar and started to panic. Maka ran over to the blue-haired boy, the 'teacher' casually following her to the boy and started to diagnose the boy's condition.

"There's a pulse. No major injuries as far as i can tell, but a concussion is a possibility, even as thick as his skull is. That's quite an axe." a slight smile flitted across his face as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it in his mouth.

"Not any major injuries? He has a concussion!" Maka shouted indignantly.

"well all have to do more tests to be sure, but he got hit pretty hard back there."

"oh dear."

"uuuuugh..what..hap..en...g...m...s...o..u..l...y. .o...m..a...y...b...e..g..e..th..r...f..o..r...e.. d..e..r...

"Um..." Maka said

"blackstar! Are you ok?" Tsubaki

"t.u...n..g...f..e..l...w..i..r..d..?" Blackstar began snoring

"I'll talk to Dr. Medusa, and we'll figure something out," said Stein.

"thank you so much , I don't know what i would do without him," Tsubaki said with a smile.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of him," Stein said. It would have been more reassuring, Loki thought, if he hadn't decided to begin rotating his bolt-thing as he was saying it.

cLiCk ClIcK cLiCk ClIcK

It was highly unsettling.

"You two better stay out of trouble," he said over his shoulder as he walked off the boy in his arms.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Drop us a review on the way out please! See you in less time than a month next time hopefully.


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